The late-night Jazz playlist fill...

The late-night Jazz playlist fill the atmosphere and the night takes control. The clear liquid in the bottom of my glass emits the juniper aromas into the shadows and into my nostrils. I sip; the drink kisses my lips, it burns, it stings. But unlike many other kisses that have been granted to me this doesn’t hurt. Doesn’t make me ache like the ones I’ve received and then abstained from my reach. Doesn’t make me freeze every time remember the last sip. The drink just soothes into my throat. No questions, no justifications, nothing to defend, and I can be in control.

Parts of me are changing into new algorithms. Some parts are going back to familiar places. One thing for serious contemplation is that I’m allowing myself to let go more and more. Feeling of being out of control is growing stronger into my spine. What colours this year will conclude in I do not know. But I like the colours that I’m swirling in. Unlike the drink on my desk, they’re palette is not clear. Like the sensations in my inner throat, these colours are intoxicating and at the same time sobering.

The gin sits on my desk, it doesn’t like to be kept waiting.